I am delighted to announce the publication of my memoir, Recovering My Voice: A Memoir of Chaos, Spirituality, and Hope. The book will be available for sale on this site, at the Kripalu Shop in Lenox, Ma., or at iUniverse on the worldwide web, in early January, 2009. The book is the culmination of reflection and reminiscence of my spiritual journey.

Here is a chapter from Part 5 of the book, which is called Surrendering. The chapter is called Faith, Unfolding. I would be honored to hear your responses to it.

Faith, Unfolding

Just for Today

Quite frankly, I find life quite a lot to deal with. Reality is radically relentless, and continues to bestow upon me (without my consent) wave upon wave of new life events, perfectly tailored for my growth and evolution. Left to my own devices on this ride of a lifetime, I would focus on the negative, think the worst about myself and life around me, and sink beneath the waves of my own destructive thoughts and interpret my sensations and feelings harmfully. I am surely my own worst enemy in this regard. Yet I continue to cobble together a faith that works, a faith that, unfolding, gives me a context for life events; that tells me that this moment is not a disaster yet again coming “to get me”; that I am protected and cared for, no matter the external circumstances.

Change is profoundly challenging. How many times in your life have you seen change rolling toward you, and deemed it unacceptable, not your plan? Found yourself working wildly to prevent it? To ignore it? Of course, it happened anyway. And how many times have you felt the urge, the deep internal pull, to change some lifestyle pattern—to lose those damn 10 pounds, to incorporate more yoga into your world, to get more aerobic exercise—and found yourself floundering, struggling, despite your commitment to yourself, despite your best efforts?

As a mindfulness coach, I work regularly with people who struggle with and against change. I believe there are simple yet profound elements from the practice of yoga on the mat, this 6,000 year old art of living, that can assist us in relaxing into both the accepting of and the initiating change—that can help us surrender more into the natural flow and rhythm of our life’s path.

Consider the essence of a hatha yoga practice—the cultivation of presence in the moment, the practice of mindfulness. From a self-discovery perspective, yoga poses (asanas) provide us with training and practice in learning how to work with change—by staying mindful. When we enter a pose such a Triangle, we begin to seek out the physical edge of sensation. What should we do? We don’t want to push past it into a realm of willful effort, a path to injury and frustration, and we don’t want to pull away from it, a path to stagnancy. We want to rest right on that developmental edge of sensation. We hold the pose as the limits of our physical selves are stretched. We breathe and stay present. And what happens? The body relaxes and opens, naturally and in its own perfect timing.